Beyond the box of chocolates series
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What is a love language?
The easiest way that I have found to begin to explain what love looks like is to incorporate the concepts of the five love languages developed by Gary Chapman. So, that being said, What is a love language? A love language is a method of communicating love that speaks to the heart of another individual. Gary Chapman in his book, The Five Love Languages, identifies five different styles of communicating love. The styles encompass five primary ways a person may communicate love.
These styles, in a nutshell are:
- Words of Affirmation- Using language, be it verbal or written to offer love, encouragement, positive affirmations, heart felt compliments, ect.
- Quality Time- This one is pretty much like it sounds. It’s spending time, intentional, quality, time with someone you love. It’s less about what you are doing and more about who you are doing it with.
- Acts of Service- This one is a lot about asking yourself the question, what can I do for the one I love? This might look like picking up groceries, washing the dishes, making dinner, running errands, kind of thing.
- Physical Touch- What this love language looks like is largely affected by the relationship you have with the other person. In a romantic love relationship this might look like holding hands, kissing and intimacy. Between a parent and a child, this might look like picking up the child, holding their hand, stroking their hair, hugs or cuddles. Among friends it might look like a fist bump, a hug, a handshake or a friendly tap on the shoulder.
- Giving and Receiving Gifts – Some people just love to be given gifts. This could be as simple as a donut or some flowers picked by the side of the road. Or bringing the one you love dinner. Gifts can be varied and encompass the breadth of your imagination.
I remember this one time, a long time ago, when one of our kids knocked something off the kitchen counter and it landed on our kitchen tiles and broke. Our daughter, The Curator, began cleaning up the mess, which was great. But then, once she got done cleaning the mess up, she continued and cleaned and mopped the entire floor. Without me saying anything to her about doing that. It was so unexpected and such a blessing to my tired self. That day I felt so loved by her act of service. Even after all of these years I still think of that moment with love and gratitude.
Awhile after we started attending the church we currently attend, I began to realize how I am also a words of affirmation person. There were so many lovely ladies there whose genuine listening and thoughtful responses truly made me feel seen, heard valued and loved.
Each of us should, if we think about it, be able to come up with at least a few examples of when we have truly felt the most loved by someone in our lives. What are some times in your life when someone said and did something that truly made you feel loved? Looking at the five categories listed above, which category or categories did those examples fall into? Do they all fall into the same love language or more than one? Please share your findings in the comments below.
Image created by Mel Seeley in collaboration with Google Gemini.
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