Breakdown?….

Six years of having a blog, and pretty much all of the issues I have had with the website during that time have been a direct result of my own mistakes. Mostly caused by me trying to make a website with absolutely no prior knowledge about how to do so. I almost deleted the entire site at least twice during that time. So, when I decided it was time to shift my mindset, change the name of the site and give the blog a facelift, I made the decision to create a new site. That way I could take my time with the site, make sure that I got it how I wanted it before publishing it. I even opted to upgrade to a paid plan so that website would get backed up and that I would have more help for the next time I accidentally screwed something up.

It took almost a month before I deemed the site ready for publication. Finally the day came where I took a deep breathe and clicked publish. It took less than 48 hours before I ran into my first problem….. only this time it wasn’t anything I had done.

For some reason, that still escapes me today, the site was red flagged ‘deceptive.’ I was freaking out. Had no idea what was going on or why the site would be red flagged like that. Took three days of trying to figure out what went wrong and to get Google to remove the deceptive warning. Then we were back in business. …..For about 36 hours. Then I realized that my site was not able to be found on search engines. After some investigating I found out that Google had all of the pages on my listed listed as either ‘currently not indexed’ or ‘no index’ tag. Meaning, that if you didn’t already have a direct link to my site, you wouldn’t be able to find it. I was like, ‘Are you kidding me right now?!’

That brought me to my next learning curve with Google and tagging and trying to figure out what was wrong there, as well as having WordPress once again comb over the site to try and find the source of these issues. After thoroughly going over the site, one more time, I submitted the issue back over to Google to reevaluate.

It’s been three long weeks and out of the 631 ‘pages’ that Google says are on my site….seriously, how can that be right? Even if you count every blog post as one page and every product as one page, I still don’t see how it could total up that high. I’m just saying. But anyway, they say there are 631 pages and so far, after three weeks, they have supposedly released 131 of them. Most of which just in the last few days. So three weeks in and they haven’t even released a quarter of them. But all of this craziness has gotten me thinking….

At so many points over the last few weeks I could have had a mental breakdown. Especially when you add in all of the non website complications and troubles along the way. We’ve had multiple deaths in the family. I have two kids living at home that are in college now that has entered a new level complicated to our lives. We won’t even get into my house issues at this point. But, the point is, I could have had a mental breakdown, I could have allowed all of these circumstances to open the door to doubting God’s plan for my life. I could have allowed the enemy’s lies to have space in my mind. Any of these things might have been understandable, but they wouldn’t have been right. They wouldn’t have given me peace or joy in the situation.

As I continued to reflect on everything that has been going on and my not mental breakdown, words popped into my mind. ‘Don’t have a breakdown when God’s about to give you a breakthrough.’ That stopped me right there in my tracks. The words repeated through my mind then and have had a hold on me for the last week.

My breakthrough may not be here right now, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t coming. It doesn’t mean that God isn’t listening. It doesn’t mean that I should let the enemy’s lies take up real estate in front of me. What is does mean is that God wants me to remember that He is still faithful. He will not forsake me and He is going to fulfill the promises that He has made. He will bring breakthrough in these sometimes more than challenging areas in my life. I just need to keep my trust in Him and wait for my breakthrough.